If you are a woman, when you last went out with girlfriends, did you talk about your weight? Your bodies? Your diets?
Do men get together and criticize their physical appearance?
It’s time to start loving ourselves. Your body is amazing. Look at everything it allows you to do each day. Your body isn’t the reason why people love you. People love your intellect, your humor, your compassion.
I know one thing: If I never work on it, I’ll never be able to do it.
I attended a “flying and floating” workshop on Saturday at Good Vibrations Yoga in Hopkins, Minnesota, with Sara Mandel. I’ve been working on my jump-throughs and jump-backs and I had a lot of fun experimenting with those movements on Saturday.
It strikes me that many of us think, “Will I ever _________?”
In other parts of my life, at different times, my questions have been:
Will I ever publish a book?
Will I ever run a marathon?
Will I ever be able to swim almost a mile in an Olympic-distance triathlon?
Will I ever be able to do sirsasana (headstand)?
The answers to those questions have all been yes. Because I worked at each one, sometimes for years. Through each process I have learned more about patience and trust.
How do you fill in that blank? What are you doing to make that answer “Yes!”?
For years, my morning ritual involved nothing more than making coffee and jumping right into my day. This was when I had an 8-to-5 telecommuting job. I preferred to start the work day early and take a longer break mid-day, so I often was logged onto my computer around 6:30 a.m. I guess it worked because I didn’t know any better.
After I left that job for a faculty job in higher education, I had a more flexible work schedule. I still enjoyed getting up early and making coffee, but instead of working I’d write. That felt like a better morning ritual. I enjoyed creating in the stillness of a quiet house.
I’ve learned a lot about morning practice and its importance over the past year. For me, a morning practice has set a tone for each day and has made the busy and chaotic days so much easier to handle.
If you’re thinking of starting a morning practice, I have some ideas for you — some of these things I do. Others I don’t incorporate but they make sense for the morning. If you already have a morning practice, perhaps you can share ideas of what works for you. I have about 10 ideas, but I will blog just one at a time.
To start, I thought I’d begin with the very first thing I do in the morning: I wash away the night.
I don’t know about you, but generally my first stop upon waking is the bathroom. While you’re there, spend some time at the sink clearing away the grit and toxins that have accumulated while you’ve slept. This can be quick, or take as long as you’d like. Some things you can do:
scrape your tongue
brush your teeth
wash your face
blow your nose
take a shower
Do one or more of these things before you do anything else. I’m often thirsty upon waking, but I don’t drink any water until after I’ve scraped my tongue and brushed my teeth. I don’t want to ingest that gross stuff on my tongue!
I’ve been consistent in this morning routine since the first of the year, five full months now (I wait until later in the day to shower, but I do everything else listed–it takes only a couple of minutes). For the first time in a long time, I didn’t get sick all winter — no cold, no flu, no sniffles or sore throat. Coincidence?
What’s the very first thing you do in the morning?
On Thursday, I wrapped up my second multi-week session guiding students through the Ashtanga led primary series at Sun Moon Yoga Studios in Mankato. I thought this would be a good time to reflect. So many thoughts!
* The Ashtanga community in Mankato is fabulous. I think I had 14 registered for winter session and 10 for spring session. Others would drop in here and there. Ashtanga is such a specialty practice that the people who actually commit are much fewer in number than people who attend other yoga classes. Plus, Ashtanga really is a home-based practice — it’s great to come together with fellow Ashtangis on a weekly basis, but it’s not necessary. So I am beyond thrilled with those numbers as well as the mix of faces. Some people have practiced Ashtanga for years in Mankato and I practiced with them back when Mel W. was teaching. But others are relatively new. Over the summer I’d like to convince 2-3 more people to commit to the fall session.
* My own practice has grown. Since January, I’ve committed to a near-daily practice in the mornings. In my day job I teach writing, and there’s no way to teach that without writing myself. There’s no way to teach Ashtanga without doing Ashtanga myself and taking additional training. I have some more fun and exciting training on the horizon for the summer and fall!
* Some crazy things are happening because of my daily practice and basking in the energy a room full of Ashtangis emits. I can’t quite find the words at the moment to articulate this, but it has to do with the cultivation of energy, the arcs of energy that run between me and others, and the ability to seemingly harness that energy to gain results.
* I’m so much more comfortable with assists. Back in March, I took an assist workshop with Lynn Thomasberg. I love the way a body “gives” under my hands — I can feel the person finding that “sweet” spot.
* I’m leading a class, not teaching. I see my role as a guide and observer. I’m there to cultivate the space — show up early, turn on the lamps, adjust the temperature, create the warmth needed for Ashtangis to settle into a practice without distraction. What I want most is to create a space in which Ashtangis can reach deep inside of themselves, go to a place both mentally and physically that will open up new channels of energy and new ways of seeing. After class, some of the practitioners will share their experiences. I loved this one from last night:
Summer we’re scaling back to one-hour Ashtanga “prep” workshops in June and July. I look forward to spending more time in asanas and regrouping for the fall full primary series. I also plan to work on a personal goal of attaining bhujapidasana.
As I continue my journey to a more healthful lifestyle and one that’s more aligned with my increased attention to Ashtanga and embracing of Ayurvedic principles, I just finished a challenge I set for myself.
I gave up alcohol for the six-plus weeks of Lent.
I won’t go into great detail, but for the last three years for various reasons I allowed my alcohol consumption to increase. As I added Ashtanga back into my life, I was feeling more and more that frequent drinking was not aligning with my practice. Yet, I had a hard time cutting back, which was slightly concerning.
On Ash Wednesday I was out with some friends and blew off church. I drank more wine in one sitting than I normally do. I felt terrible by the time I got home, both for neglecting church and being so careless with the wine. The next morning, with my head fuzzy, a yoga practice was out of the question. So I sat in quiet meditation and a message was delivered so clearly to me that it was practically screaming in my ear: Give up alcohol for Lent. This decision felt right in my heart. I spent zero time questioning it; I just did it.
From that moment I felt confident I could do this. It was beyond myself. I thought about the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, so in comparison it felt silly to not be able to give up alcohol.
I was surprised at how easy it was for me. It really never felt like a sacrifice, which makes me think next year for Lent I should give up something I really would miss, like coffee or sugar. But I learned so much about myself in this process.
I used to look forward to a drink as a way to relax. I was getting to the point where I thought having a drink was the ONLY way to relax. But I found myself looking forward to Friday or Saturday nights out with friends, knowing that being with friends would be enjoyable and relaxing without the alcohol.
When going out, before I’d be focusing on what to drink, with food being a secondary thought. But during Lent I looked forward to going out for the food, and I truly enjoyed what I was eating, rather than viewing it as something that would soak up the alcohol.
I LOVE club soda with a splash of cranberry juice! That’s been my go-to drink at bars. Very little sugar but delicious! I actually converted a couple of friends to this concoction. I also discovered diet ginger ale — yum!
Noteworthy events don’t need to be celebrated with a drink. I looked ahead to different events going on during Lent — St. Patrick’s Day, a good friend’s birthday, my husband’s birthday, social time with friends I don’t see often, etc. — and wondered if I would struggle not drinking during those occasions. But again, I didn’t miss it.
Going out without drinking is much more affordable! I paid myself about $20 each week, which is roughly what I would spend on having a drink or two going out a couple of nights a week. In the end I had about $140.
I thought I would sleep better without alcohol, but the opposite is true. I don’t know what’s going on but I’ve had some insomnia in the past six weeks. However, I feel so much better in the evening without a happy hour drink or two. And needless to say, I can get up every morning knowing that I will be able to do a yoga practice without a fuzzy head.
I do look forward to having cocktails again, but now I have more confidence in cutting back. For years I’d have a couple of drinks on the weekends and that was it. I’d like to return to that. I also want to see alcohol as a treat, not just as something to pour down my gullet to get a buzz. I want to appreciate my drinks and choose quality over quantity. I love a good mixed cocktail, like an old-fashioned or a Manhattan, and I’d like to be purposeful in seeking out the best of the best. I’ll be in Duluth in one month and I cannot wait to go to Vikre distillery! Talk about attention to detail and making a drink from quality ingredients.
On a side note: the elimination of alcohol helped me shed some stubborn pounds and inches. I always knew that I could get back to my previous level of fitness if I cut out alcohol but never had the will to actually do it in the last three years. So this experiment proved my hypothesis!
If you are a yogi, what is your stance on alcohol?
After class on Thursday, one woman said she had the best Ashtanga practice she had had in a long time. She said she came into class tired and weary and wasn’t expecting much from herself. But partway through she thought to herself, What’s happening here? The look on her face after class was one of amazement and surprise.
Leading an Ashtanga class is unlike other teaching I do. In the university classroom, I have knowledge about a topic and I try to impart that knowledge unto (generally much younger) students. They look to me as someone who has professional experience in the field, and they have relatively no experience. They are there to learn from someone with more experience.
But in an Ashtanga class, I am not the one with the most experience. Instead, I’m there to cultivate an environment in which students feel comfortable going inside of themselves to reach their potentials. How do I do that?
By showing up early, at least a half-hour before class starts. I turn on the lights and make sure everything is in order before they arrive. I don’t want to be rushing around getting things ready as students come in the door. That would set an anxious tone.
By greeting them as they arrive and listening to them. If I get there early, I’m ready. So when students talk to me, I can give them 100 percent attention. I’m not distracted. They may tell me something important, like an injury they have or an emotional or mental roadblock they’re facing.
By using a calming voice when leading them from asana to asana.
By using assists to help them get further into an asana.
It’s like a garden — you don’t make the plants grow, but you cultivate a favorable environment so they have a chance to grow strong.
I’m glad I was able to curate an environment in which the woman was able to achieve a fulfilling practice. I want to hear that and hope to never hear the opposite — that my class is a space in which people feel discouraged or unwelcomed. Her words encourage me to create a space in which she can continue to grow, as well as others.
Touch doesn’t come natural to me. I grew up in a family that wasn’t demonstrative with affection — not uncommon in small-town Minnesota, populated by descendants of stoic Germans and Scandinavians.
So providing assists during an Ashtanga class presents a challenge to me. But I look forward to this opportunity for self-development. I will be spending some time contemplating my place of resistance and developing ways to break through it.
I attended my first assist workshop last weekend, led by Lynn Thomasberg at One Yoga in Minneapolis. Lynn focused specifically on the asanas found in the Ashtanga primary series.
Right away, I noticed my discomfort. But confronting that discomfort was exactly why I signed up for the workshop. Prior to this, my only experience with assists was at David Swenson‘s weekend workshop last September. We paired up with each other, and I felt challenged by having to put my hands on strangers.
Lynn told us we’d be changing partners for every asana so we’d get a chance to work with all body types and all abilities. Wow, I’m going to be putting my hands on a lot of strangers today, I thought. But that’s why I was there, so I might as well dive right in.
I did what Lynn told us to do, pushing through my resistance. I was beyond my comfort zone, but that’s where growth occurs. At home at the end of that first day, I reflected upon the work I did and readied myself for the second day.
When I got to the studio the second day, I was feeling a lot more comfortable. That was a good sign! Knowing that I’d have to assist again wasn’t giving me anxiety; I was excited. I think I felt more comfortable on the second day for a couple of reasons: 1) I was more familiar with my classmates — they were no longer strangers; and 2) we worked on seated postures.
For some reason, assisting people while they were seated felt more natural to me than assisting in standing asanas. Hmmmm! Maybe I was just more comfortable in general and if I had assisted standing asanas on the second day, I would have felt natural, too.
Today is when I get to put the assists into practice in my class at SunMoon. I feel excited rather than anxious, so I’m relieved about that. The people in my class aren’t strangers — I know them all, so there’s a level of comfort there that I didn’t have on the first day of the workshop.
I think my resistance isn’t necessarily about touching people. I like to hug people (though I often wait for people to make the first move), and I will touch people on an arm when I’m talking to them (if I feel it’s warranted). I have warmed up considerably from where I was as a young person!
My resistance comes out of fear — I don’t want to hurt people. Even in the workshop almost everyone I worked on said I could push further — my touch was too light. I know that people will let me know if I go too far, but I worry about the people who might not say anything. Or the people who don’t realize I made them go too far until after practice, when a pain or soreness sets in. Or I am spotting someone in sirsasana and they tumble over on my watch.
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to teach a led class so I can confront areas of resistance and learn more about myself. If I were only practicing on my own, this world would not be opened to me.
How do you feel about assists in a yoga class, whether giving or receiving?